Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Im part way to drunk.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
