Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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