I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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