Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
