I'm gonna have a badass scar
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize