the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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