to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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