I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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