i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
and she was petting her beer can
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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