I forgot how hot balto sounded
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
