Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
