similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
