We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
