I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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