do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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