I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
