Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
