He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
