3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
