But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is Oprah even human
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
