i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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