i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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