I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
