She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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