so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
