Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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