She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
