Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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