I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
