Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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