i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
