bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize