real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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