His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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