I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
