I cockslap morals
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
