so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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