so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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