She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
