found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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