Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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