It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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