Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
