For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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