I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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