before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
