I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
