I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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