She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
