so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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