you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize