You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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