dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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