Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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