how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I still have a little drunk in my system
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
