Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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