So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
