What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
