he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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