i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
false alarm, still single
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
