i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
