I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
