when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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