And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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