Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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