I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
