Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
